Life's so boring. by J Cassar
J Cassar was discovered amid the wreckage of a destroyed Target in 2024.
Once retaught human speech and toilet behavior, they were re-acquainted with various versions of their "writing" and "career." This re-education process now repeats ad nauseum, like it does in 50 First Dates (2004).
Previous lives (under their government name, J*mes) have included co-hosting the award-winning Modern Vinyl podcast and editing the site of the same name (2013-2019), co-founding the record labels Near Mint (2014-2017), and Moon Physics (2020-2022), bylines everywhere from Alternative Press Magazine to MTV, not to mention countless emails sent as a freelance music publicist, creative project manager, band manager and, of course, newsletter writer. Their previous newsletter, weird upstairs (2018-2022), was itself a mutation of a column that originated on the site PropertyofZack in 2015. It may survive in your inbox.
Life's so boring. [1] will be a scratch pad of various ideas that have been gestating in iPhone notes, J's Dropbox, and vast impenetrable memory, except for the parts that have conveniently been repressed. Don't worry—they have a day job and were never doing this shit for you, but you can donate if you want to support paying for site hosting, and there are some very stupid and very J-core rewards if you do.
"Life's So Boring" is an instrumental that survives among blink-182's 1998 demos for Enema of the State. Real heads know the song evolved into 2001's "Story of a Lonely Guy," but this version is more 90s sitcom end credits and less proto-incel. ↩︎
J graduated from the University of Virginia with degrees in English and Media Studies. They can be found playing Balatro somewhere near Baltimore, MD.